King for a Day

Anyone who cares deeply about an issue or issues has thought sometime that if they were king for a day they could set the world straight. Well, I don’t think I could set the world straight – in fact, I feel a bit like country music singer Gene Watson – the more I live, the more I learn just how little I know. But I know how I would like to see things work.

Here’s a quiz -- if I were king for a day, I would:

a) Require every family to attend a fundamentalist Christian church.
b) Make every family own at least one gun.
c) Eliminate all taxes on every household with an income over $100,000.
d) Force every employee to work a 50-hour week with no overtime pay.
e) Abolish all forms of pre-school day care.
f) Open a restaurant chain serving only endangered species dishes.
g) Open every natural park to clear-cutting and oil exploration.
h) All of the above.
i) None of the above.

Though I’m sure some of you think otherwise, the correct answer is “None of the above.”

It’s true that I hope everyone would become a Christian, but I know they won’t, and the world is a better place because of the moral code and respect for humanity taught by the world’s major religions. I love religious liberty – and that means that I respect your right not to worship at all if you so choose.

I do believe though, as did our founders, that there is a place for general religious principle in public life. As the Supreme Court wrote in Church of the Holy Trinity vs. United States, “The happiness of a people, and the good order and preservation of civil government essentially depend on piety, religion, and morality.”

I don’t think anyone should be forced to own a gun, but I certainly don’t want you coming for mine. If you don’t want one, that’s fine. But I agree with Thomas Paine, who said, “…[guns], like laws, discourage and keep the invader and plunderer in awe, and preserve order in the world as well as property.”

We need tax reform and soon. Eastern Europe is full of nations with flat tax rates, and their economies are growing at record paces. Ireland adopted a low flat tax and the ensuing investment and job boom has made it the second richest nation in Europe. A flat tax would be better than our present system, but I favor a national consumption tax. Congressman John Linder’s “Fair Tax” plan fits the bill to a tee.

The Congressman has written a book with attorney and talk-show host Neal Boortz. When it hits the stands, I’ll be the first in line to get one. I hope you’re right behind me.

I wouldn’t force anyone to work overtime for straight-time pay, but neither would I force an employer to pay overtime. We have forgotten that labor is a market commodity, just like steel or plastic. You have labor to sell; your employer buys it. You should both be free to work out the terms of your employment in any mutually satisfactory way.

Nor would I abolish pre-school classes or day care. But I would get the government out of the mix. If providers want to operate and parents patronize private day cares, so be it. I believe in freedom. But Karl Marx would be thrilled at the increasing intervention of the government into the lives of younger and younger children. Schools have become first providers of social services, and future generations will look to schools as surrogate families.

I’m not sure I would enjoy the taste of an endangered species (unless it tastes like chicken), but the federal government has no constitutional or moral authority to jail a farmer because some rare rodent decided to nest on his back forty. Protect endangered species to the extent you can without trampling private property rights.

I don’t want parks clear-cut, and I don’t cherish the idea of oil derricks everywhere, but I can’t help cracking up as I hear people gripe about gas prices. We have plenty of exploitable oil fields, but we can’t get to them in many cases because of environmental regulations. ANWR is an example: it was originally established with an area set aside for oil exploration and drilling. Now the opponents of exploration are acting as if we’re criminals for proposing to do what the law was designed to do.

So what would I do? If I were king for a day, I would abolish every federal agency not specifically authorized by the Constitution. That alone would take care of most of our problems. But then, the Constitution doesn’t authorize kings either, even for one day.

I’m glad, and I’m sure you are too.