My Favorite Dirty Words

Comedian George Carlin had a bit he called “The Seven Words You Can’t Say on Television.” The routine revolved around profane words that were banned by the Federal Communications Commission. Mr. Carlin’s words were objectionable, but today we live in a politically correct society that wants to ban perfectly acceptable words.

The first dirty word is “discrimination”. Once, a man with discriminating taste was a man who could discern the difference between the common and the exceptional. But today discrimination is a bad thing. We are expected to go through life with the idea that a hard working, well-groomed and polite young man is no more deserving of a job than a shiftless, irresponsible thug with twelve facial piercings and purple hair.

I discriminate. I prefer effort to sloth, neatness to sloppiness, politeness to disrespect, and proper grammar to street slang. So don’t come to me with your pants dragging the ground and six metal studs in your face and tell me you want a job. I have a moral right (though legally my rights are being eroded every day) to hire who I wish. The constitution doesn’t guarantee you a job, in spite of what the egalitarian movement in this country wants you to believe.

Another good one is “guilt.” The whole notion depends, of course, upon the acceptance of the idea that some things are right and others wrong. If you feel guilt, it’s because you know you hurt either yourself, someone else, or maybe both. In the old days (when people still wrote in hieroglyphics) you cleared a guilty conscience by making your wrong right. You apologized, paid restitution, or did whatever you had to do to undo the damage you caused.

Now all you do to avoid guilt is deny that there are any absolute truths. Sure, it may be a bad thing for you, but it’s a good thing for me. So that makes it OK. Only it really doesn’t, and we all know it. Maybe that’s why Prozac is as popular as Peanut M&M’s.

“Revenge” is a dirty word too. These days words like revenge are reserved for ignorant rednecks who just want to get the guy who “shot my Paw.” However, God explained the principle of revenge, and when properly pursued it is consistent with the more accepted word, “justice.”

“But Mike,” you ask, “how can you say that? Don’t you know that God said, ‘Vengeance is Mine.”? Yes, I know that – however, a few verses later, the Apostle Paul explains how God exacts that vengeance. Government is God’s minister, he explains, “a revenger to execute wrath upon him that doeth evil.”

So l agree that God forbids vigilante justice and reserves vengeance unto Himself. But to deny the justice system’s role as punisher and executioner is to deny God’s ordained role for government. Therefore, when a murderer is executed, it is truly a revenge killing – revenge on behalf of the victim’s family, law-abiding citizens, and yes, God.

My favorite dirty word is “judgment.” Judgment is the king of dirty words. Just whispering it can bring the thought police down on you with every condemnation known to man. But where would we be without judgment?

Start with the court system. You know those folks who bang gavels and wear black robes. Why do we call them Judges? Because they judge. True enough, they do a lot less judging than they used to. Maybe we should change their titles to “tolerators.”

We’re constantly told that Christ warned us not to judge, But isn’t he the one who called the Pharisees vipers and hypocrites? Sounds like some serious judging going on there. And the Bible tells Christians to take note of brothers living out of step with the scriptures and to “have no fellowship with them.” Exactly how are we to do that if we can’t execute some measure of judgment?

The worst part is the hypocrisy of those who say we shouldn’t judge. I get letters from readers who condemn me for judging others, and their own words reek of judgment – I’m evil, President Bush is evil, conservatives are evil, Christians are evil, anyone who doesn’t share their utopian dream is evil.

How non-judgmental of them.

Look at yourselves long and hard folks. Every single one of you judges – from the moment you get out of bed ‘til you crawl back in it, you judge. Some judgments are as harmless as deciding which meal deal is better for breakfast, others are as serious as whom to vote for and why. But they’re judgments all the same. I’m tired of the so-called “tolerant” crowd claiming to be above judging others.

We need more love, compassion and mercy. We need more judgment, discrimination and revenge as well. The challenge is knowing when to exercise one and when the other.